Wednesday, March 22, 2006

SXSW 2006: Diary of a Hammjamm!

Not me, but hammjamming nonetheless.

Well, I must say that I have yet to recover from this past week’s festivities. I met many of you and missed even more of you still. I also drank a lot of Sparks and got gum in my hair. Here is a diary I compiled a list of actual SXSW experiences:

Wednesday, March 15, 2006
  • Order a Shiner Bock at Emo’s--bartender makes a “humph” noise and grumbles about tourists…I tip him because I am weak.
  • I graze at no less than three parties, never moving 3 feet away from the food tables. I eat sixteen chickens worth of wings. I am not ashamed.
  • Get drinks from a very drunk waitress who proceeds to drink the beer she just served me. She also, um, (not trying to be gross or sexist here) plays with her breasts a lot and asks if we need company. Everybody around her is freaked out.
  • I lose my voice.
Thursday, March 16, 2006
  • We throw a party at Red 7. The hammjamming’s great and the bands are good, but still no voice!
  • I get gum on my jacket and in my hair in what appears to be a case of mysterious candy-based teleportation.
  • I show some companions how to properly eat crawfish, including “sucking” the “head.”
  • I call Steve from Sub Pop “very handsome” which is awkward for all involved.
  • I hit my head on a red crystal chandelier. Bear in mind that I am 5’5” with a vertical leap of 2 inches.

Friday, March 17, 2006
  • Still not much of a voice. Drinking 12 beers an hour at this point
  • I see Rue McClanahan from the Golden Girls. She’s looking a lot older.
  • I think I piss off Jenny Toomey for the second day in a row when I call her glasses “Elton John” glasses.
  • Take a ride with a stoner cab driver who likes Sirius Radio for “the stats and the things.” He is a fan of the New England Patriots and tells me to watch out for “the Spider Girls.” Indeed.
Saturday, March 18, 2006
  • Eat a breakfast of pork products covered entirely in hash browns. Why is everyone staring at me?
  • I discover that Studio 54-style velvet rope treatment is being used to keep me out of the Fader/Levi’s party, which is technically being held in a muddy wedding tent. David Cross breaks in line. I was only in it for the free Red Stripes.
  • Starting to get voice back.
Sunday was spent antique shopping with friends, eating frito pie and chicken fried steak, and chillaxing. I think I might have seen some bands along the way as well.

I'm still feeling groggy, though almost getting hit by a car driving into a building this morning has pepped me right up!


like a eagle said...

holy shit...
frito chili pie is my favorite food of all time.

Team Clermont Lucas said...

This was maybe the best I've had.