Well, I must say that I have yet to recover from this past week’s festivities. I met many of you and missed even more of you still. I also drank a lot of Sparks and got gum in my hair. Here is a diary I compiled a list of actual SXSW experiences:
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
- Order a Shiner Bock at Emo’s--bartender makes a “humph” noise and grumbles about tourists…I tip him because I am weak.
- I graze at no less than three parties, never moving 3 feet away from the food tables. I eat sixteen chickens worth of wings. I am not ashamed.
- Get drinks from a very drunk waitress who proceeds to drink the beer she just served me. She also, um, (not trying to be gross or sexist here) plays with her breasts a lot and asks if we need company. Everybody around her is freaked out.
- I lose my voice.
- We throw a party at Red 7. The hammjamming’s great and the bands are good, but still no voice!
- I get gum on my jacket and in my hair in what appears to be a case of mysterious candy-based teleportation.
- I show some companions how to properly eat crawfish, including “sucking” the “head.”
- I call Steve from Sub Pop “very handsome” which is awkward for all involved.
- I hit my head on a red crystal chandelier. Bear in mind that I am 5’5” with a vertical leap of 2 inches.
Friday, March 17, 2006
- Still not much of a voice. Drinking 12 beers an hour at this point
- I see Rue McClanahan from the Golden Girls. She’s looking a lot older.
- I think I piss off Jenny Toomey for the second day in a row when I call her glasses “Elton John” glasses.
- Take a ride with a stoner cab driver who likes Sirius Radio for “the stats and the things.” He is a fan of the New England Patriots and tells me to watch out for “the Spider Girls.” Indeed.
- Eat a breakfast of pork products covered entirely in hash browns. Why is everyone staring at me?
- I discover that Studio 54-style velvet rope treatment is being used to keep me out of the Fader/Levi’s party, which is technically being held in a muddy wedding tent. David Cross breaks in line. I was only in it for the free Red Stripes.
- Starting to get voice back.
I'm still feeling groggy, though almost getting hit by a car driving into a building this morning has pepped me right up!