Wednesday, August 02, 2006

Take a bite!

Okay. If you haven't seen the Cannon Films' masterwork The Apple, you really should. Let me set it up for you:

The year is 1994 as filmed in a disco-addled 1980 Berlin where green stationwagons are the hottest cars around. Two kids from Moosejaw named Alphie and Bibi (sp?) generate a lot of heartbeats whilst competing in the WorldVision Contest and gain the attention of one Mr. Boogalow, an evil agent who pretty much rules the world and makes everybody wear sticky triangles. Anyway, Bibi is seduced by the glitz and glamour of Boogalow's world, but Alphie ends up living with his mom and then some hippies in some underground cave. Meanwhile, Bibi sings some songs about America's thirst for amphetamines, gets famous, and hangs out with a faux Roger Daltrey. Also, we encounter the worst vampire ever displayed on film. [SPOILER ALERT] Oh, and then God shows up and takes the hippies away in a glowing yellow Delta 88. Maybe. It's kind of hard to tell because nothing in that movie ever, ever, ever telegraphs or foreshadows this event. It comes out of freaking nowhere, but the movie acts like we should have seen this coming. It's 100% nuts.[END SPOILER]

Completely awesome. That is all.

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