Friday, October 13, 2006

IMing with the Stars: 20 Questions with Gerard, part I: #'s 1-11


I love MP3 blogs as much as the next guy, but everything feels too serious out there right now; it's like this new, exciting medium has aged 35 years old and turned cranky and self-serious in all of two and a half years or something. Some levity is needed, and, honestly, a good dose of ombudsmanship ain't a bad thing, either. It's always good to get a nice kick in the butt now and again to keep you honest.

Idolator has reared its head and though I like a lot of what they do, it's a pretty slick operation. For my money, there is no better rancoteur around than the broken English-speaking, third person-talking weirdo Gerard of Gerard Vs. Bear. Sure, it's too insider-y and its immaturity often feels forced, but it's funny as hell and serves the much-needed purpose of making sure people don't take themselves too seriously. It's the perfect antidote to the unfunny, mugging, pat-ourselves-on-the-back, yay-we-made-some-bands-sorta-big hipsterism of that execrable Aziz Ansari skit that everybody thought was so funny.

In this set of 20 questions, done over iChat one day, I try to ferret out Gerard's identity and start a conversation about conflicts of interest (a big pet peeve of his) and You Ain't No Picasso's butt. Who is he? Why is he here? No, really, who is he? Enjoy!

Me: hey
Me: wanna do an interview for my blog?
Gerard: yes, sure lucasjensen
Me: I must warn you that I am a publicity person, but we don't lie about it!
Gerard: gerard knows who lucasjensenusa
Me: haha
Me: I'm sure
Gerard: maybe interview clever trick
Gerard: throw scent off path to georgia
Me: GA, eh?
Me: c'mon...who you is?
Gerard: Gerard!
Me: yep...Gerard
Me: how about we play 20 questions?
Gerard: okay, go!
Gerard: Ok Go!
Me: are you vegetable, animal, or mineral?
Gerard: more animal.
Gerard: little vegetable.
Me: good. #2--are you a bear?
Gerard: NO!
Gerard: Gerard vs BEAR
Me: #3--do you live in the Southeastern United States?
Gerard: Gerard live in heart and mind of readers everywhere.
Me: #4--are you a dirty foreigner?
Gerard: Gerard bathes regular
Gerard: semi-regular.
Me: #5--do you like the band Foreigner?
Gerard: Gerard okay Foreigner.
Gerard: Journey better.
Me: tough call, to be sure
Me: #6--do you have a day job?
Gerard: Be Gerard ffull-time job!
Me: #7--have we met in person before?
Gerard: Gerard no meet lucasjensenusa
Gerard: maybe meet
Gerard: Gerard no memory for lucasjensenusa!
Me: #8--do you actually like any bloggers?
Me: besides yourself, of course
Gerard: Gerard hate self.
Gerard: no, that lie.
Gerard: Gerard like many many blogger.
Gerard: Packy smart.
Gerard: T-side Taylor Gerard friend.
Gerard: blogger chicago reader
Me: Do you like Squashed?
Me: #9?
Gerard: Gerard write more clearly than squashed!
Gerard: not enough LSD in world make Gerard taht annoying!
Gerard: INSIPIDITY!
Me: #10--are you more surprised that your questions of conflict of interest haven't really been addressed that often?
Gerard: Sadly, no.
Gerard: Jack Abramoff clear way
Me: #11--be honest, do you think we have a conflict of interest, operating this blog and cruising the elbo.ws boards and such?
Gerard: No.
Gerard: lucasjensenusa say "pr me asap!"
Gerard: all know who is lucasjensenusa!
Gerard: no secret!
Gerard: really?
Me: not all. . .
Me: I wish they did
Me: maybe I would have a band as big as [edited] or [edited]!
Gerard: haha
Gerard: then ain't picasso touch your butt a lot!
Me: he already does!
Gerard: sweet!?


Part II coming soon!

1 comment:

Dave said...

oh man, awesome